From Jim Coleman

According to my records this is the last e-mail I received from our friend Bromo. His illness must have really come on fast.

Further to the point I can see him now explaining this one to Our Lord and Maker.

How timely and priceless was this one.

Jim

Hi Gang,

We have a collection of actual statements written by children about the bible. Bromo in Chicken Country calling the HOGS with a blonde 'thingy' before we get to the children. Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammer. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thou Shall Not Admit Adultery? The following statements about the bible have been written by children and havenot been retouched or corrected (i.e. bad spelling has been left in): * In the first book of the Bible, Guiness, God got tired of creating the world,so he took the Sabbath off. * Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. * Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. * Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. * Lots wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. * The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. * Samson was a strongman who let himself be lead astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. * Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. * The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. * Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments. * The first commandment as when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. * The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. * Moses died before he ever reached Canada. * Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. * The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. * David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. * Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. * When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. * When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. * Jesus was born because Mary had a immaculate contraption. * St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head. * Jesus enunicated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone." * It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get thetombstone off the entrance. * The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. * The epistles were the wives of the apostles. * One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. * St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,which is another name for marriage. * A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++