The Anniversary!

Hi Gang,
Today we have a story about couple who are celebrating their 50 years together.
Bromo in Chicken Country calling the HOGS with a blonde 'thingy' before we join the couple.
A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping!"
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The Anniversary

A man and wife were about to celebrate 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy agreed to a Sunday dinner in honor
of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had a
varied assortment of excuses.
"Happy anniversary Mom and dad," gushed son number one...."Sorry I'm running late ... had an emergency, you know how it is, didn't have time to get you both a present."
"Not to worry," said the dad...."The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom still look great dad.
Just flew in from L. A. and didn't have time to get you a present....sorry."
"It's nothing," said the father, "glad you were able to be here."
Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello you both, happy anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing ... so I didn't have time to get you guys anything."
Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today." During dinner, the father put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, "Listen you three, there's something your mother and I wanted to tell you for a long time. Well, ... your mother and I came to this country penniless and desperate. Despite this, we were able to raise each of you and send you to college. We always knew we loved each other but..... never got around to getting married."
The three kids gasped and said, "You mean we're BASTARDS ?"
"Yep," said the dad..... "And cheap ones too!"